I met with Trin's teacher yesterday and realized an entirely new kind of hurdle.
When I first realized something was different with Triniti, I had no idea how I was going to survive being her mom. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to handle her. It was so frustrating for me as a mother to feel helpless.
I felt like I was the pilot of an airplane and it was spinning out of control and I had no idea how to right the course.
Luckily for me, I pushed hard and got a diagnosis and that felt like reaching out and grabbing the steering of the plane and as I read more and learned more I was able to gain control of the plane and have, for several months now, been in control of the plane. Sometimes there is turbulance but ususally we fly smoothly.
So when someone tells me that Trin is "fine", I have a tendency to get defensive.
They don't realize the amount of time and effort went into this "plane" flying smoothly nor do they realize the every day work that goes into it.
So when her therapist says that her AS is very "light" or her teacher says she doesn't see the need for additional modifications, it straight pisses me off. Because it feels like they are sitting inside the plane cruising along and I am in the front flying it.
I explained this to Trin's teacher last week and advised her to talk to Trin's teacher from last year and ask her about the hell we went through last year. I think she is starting to understand a little bit better the work that has went into and continues to go into keeping Trin on the right path.
It's just frustrating being alone in all of this.
Very frustrating.
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Well, I met the new therapist yesterday...
She is a LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), a NCC (National Certified Counselor) and a DCFC (Diplomat Clinical Forensic Counseling) as well as a LPC Board Certified Supervisor.
Phew!
But the more important thing is that I like her!
And for the purposes of this blog, we will call her Therapist Katie.
I am always nervous about meeting new therapists. I haven't had the best luck out there in therapy land and I'm never super optimistic about it. So I got to her office right on time and filled out all of the paperwork and then we talked for a little while.
I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is to have a conversation with someone who is knowledgeable about AS! My normal conversations about my daughter usually start with me prefacing them with ten minutes of Asperger info so to have someone jump in and bring up other AS traits was awesome. Someone who just gets it!
We talked about school and she told me that she doesn't believe Trin is even getting 10% of the in-school assistance that she should be getting. And you know what? It was so nice to hear! Because I always feel like I am being a pain and asking for too much. I always feel like I am playing the AS Card and there isn't anyone around to tell me whether I should be or not.
It was a good meeting. The only thing we disagreed on was medication.
It is my belief that Trin should decide whether to be medicated. And I feel like in the next few years she will be able to tell me if she needs it. The main medication is for anxiety and I just feel like she should be able to tell me that she wants something for her "tummy aches". It's is Therapist Katie's belief that AS children are not capable of making that decision. I'm thinking I will let them meet and work together and see what she thinks later.
I feel like we have made so much progress at home that Therapist Katie will just be floored and may change her mind about what my AS child is and isn't capable of. :)
Our next appointment is on Tuesday at 2:00p. I will let ya'll know how it goes!
Phew!
But the more important thing is that I like her!
And for the purposes of this blog, we will call her Therapist Katie.
I am always nervous about meeting new therapists. I haven't had the best luck out there in therapy land and I'm never super optimistic about it. So I got to her office right on time and filled out all of the paperwork and then we talked for a little while.
I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is to have a conversation with someone who is knowledgeable about AS! My normal conversations about my daughter usually start with me prefacing them with ten minutes of Asperger info so to have someone jump in and bring up other AS traits was awesome. Someone who just gets it!
We talked about school and she told me that she doesn't believe Trin is even getting 10% of the in-school assistance that she should be getting. And you know what? It was so nice to hear! Because I always feel like I am being a pain and asking for too much. I always feel like I am playing the AS Card and there isn't anyone around to tell me whether I should be or not.
It was a good meeting. The only thing we disagreed on was medication.
It is my belief that Trin should decide whether to be medicated. And I feel like in the next few years she will be able to tell me if she needs it. The main medication is for anxiety and I just feel like she should be able to tell me that she wants something for her "tummy aches". It's is Therapist Katie's belief that AS children are not capable of making that decision. I'm thinking I will let them meet and work together and see what she thinks later.
I feel like we have made so much progress at home that Therapist Katie will just be floored and may change her mind about what my AS child is and isn't capable of. :)
Our next appointment is on Tuesday at 2:00p. I will let ya'll know how it goes!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
My greatest fear...
Taken from this article:
This gender dynamic doesn’t necessarily affect girls with Asperger’s when they are very young; if anything, they often fare better than boys at an early age because they tend to be less disruptive. In 1993, Catherine Lord, a veteran autism researcher, published a study of 21 boys and 21 girls. She found that when the children were between the ages of 3 and 5, parents more frequently described the girls as imitating typical kids and seeking out social contacts. Yet by age 10, none of the girls had reciprocal friendships while some of the boys did. “The girls often have the potential to really develop relationships,’ says Lord, a psychology and psychiatry professor and director of the Autism and Communication Disorders Center at the University of Michigan. “But by middle school, a subset of them is literally dumbstruck by anxiety. They do things like bursting into tears or lashing out in school, which make them very conspicuous. Their behavior really doesn’t jibe with what’s expected of girls. And that makes their lives very hard.”
After Trin's diagnosis last year, we stopped therapy.
I had been searching for a reason for all of the madness and once one was found, we jumped off the roller coaster and started to focus on rebuilding our lives and including AS as one of the bricks. I read up on EVERYTHING I could find and picked a few things to try and just put one foot in front of the other until we were moving along at a reasonable speed.
But I am afraid.
I can see her starting to get upset often about not having friends. She has cried when someone has said something mean to her. School can be a scary place for her when it comes to kids and playing and their attempt at structure and knowing that I cannot make everything right has pushed me back towards therapy. So in the next two weeks, we will start seeing a new therapist, one recommended to us by Any Baby Can.
And I am hoping that with new therapy she will stand a chance at making some friends and fitting in socially because it breaks my heart to see her struggle.
This gender dynamic doesn’t necessarily affect girls with Asperger’s when they are very young; if anything, they often fare better than boys at an early age because they tend to be less disruptive. In 1993, Catherine Lord, a veteran autism researcher, published a study of 21 boys and 21 girls. She found that when the children were between the ages of 3 and 5, parents more frequently described the girls as imitating typical kids and seeking out social contacts. Yet by age 10, none of the girls had reciprocal friendships while some of the boys did. “The girls often have the potential to really develop relationships,’ says Lord, a psychology and psychiatry professor and director of the Autism and Communication Disorders Center at the University of Michigan. “But by middle school, a subset of them is literally dumbstruck by anxiety. They do things like bursting into tears or lashing out in school, which make them very conspicuous. Their behavior really doesn’t jibe with what’s expected of girls. And that makes their lives very hard.”
After Trin's diagnosis last year, we stopped therapy.
I had been searching for a reason for all of the madness and once one was found, we jumped off the roller coaster and started to focus on rebuilding our lives and including AS as one of the bricks. I read up on EVERYTHING I could find and picked a few things to try and just put one foot in front of the other until we were moving along at a reasonable speed.
But I am afraid.
I can see her starting to get upset often about not having friends. She has cried when someone has said something mean to her. School can be a scary place for her when it comes to kids and playing and their attempt at structure and knowing that I cannot make everything right has pushed me back towards therapy. So in the next two weeks, we will start seeing a new therapist, one recommended to us by Any Baby Can.
And I am hoping that with new therapy she will stand a chance at making some friends and fitting in socially because it breaks my heart to see her struggle.
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